Thank you for sharing Shawn.

I imagine losing a child is one of the hardest experiences a human being can face and I think whatever allows you to keep moving forward whilst remembering your son, is the exact way you 'should' be grieving.

I think it's also really important to remember that how much you care can't be measured in tears, especially as men, we often aren't able to express in that way but it doesn't mean that we're feeling any less. I think the same goes for anguish, our natural response is often to become the protectors of those around us and try to hold things together, it doesn't mean we're less effected, like you say it probably just emerges at other times in sleep, when we're alone or when we're touched by a film, music etc.

It's not the same but when I lost my friend I think it took me years to really feel into all the emotions of grief, the shock of losing someone and the questions, anger and disbelief took up a lot of emotional energy. As the fallout settled over the years I began to feel more of the sadness and also the loving aspects of grief.

Grief is a life long journey but the fact that you're able to take time to yourself to feel the emotions and share on here I think is very admirable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.